Voicing a Struggle - Alexa

There are many things I could write about with what’s happening in this world today and the things I have learned since I begun this adventure in LA. But.. I just watched- well scrolled down and stopped on- this video from facebook.

On our last retreat we took time to talk about race. We were given space to sit and search our minds for what race means to us. We were given time to sit and search our minds and share what race means to US.

I sat and I thought and I shared that race confuses me. Race is a social construct, but it is still a very real element in our society. Some people can pretend it’s not there while others cannot. They cannot because it slaps them in the face everywhere they turn: going to get food, walking down the street, deciding where to shop. Agree or disagree, it doesn’t matter much to me-- I just challenge you to TAKE THE TIME to decipher why you agree or disagree.

Anyway, I thought about how I am confused by race. I have not given myself the chance to fully express to others how I have struggled with my identity due to being mixed. It’s still hard to put into words, but I think the video helps me voice one aspect of it.

--My Spanish is me. My Spanish is who I am. My Spanish is my culture. My Spanish is my struggle. My Spanish goes beyond me. My Spanish is judged and criticized. My Spanish cannot be taken from me. My Spanish cannot be stripped of me no matter how hard you try. Bring on the tow truck, jackhammer, or strongest force in the world. My Spanish is mine. It is mine and you may not understand it. You may not understand it, but it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. My Spanish is how I understand the world and is what keeps me open to seeing everything else.--

~Alexa